I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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