I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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