Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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