She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
