I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
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