The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
