I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
