Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize