...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
