No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize