I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
