I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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