if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
