We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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