i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
