she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
