Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
