Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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