Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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