girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
