I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize