who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
