More tranny stories later!
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
