Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize