I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
