just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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