I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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