I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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