true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
can u get pink eye on your cock?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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