I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
