So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize