ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just googled if crying burns calories
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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