His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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