It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
