Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
