Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
