singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
