It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i think my cat just said my name.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
