Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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