Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I got inside last night via doggy door
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
