After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
