Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize