He is such a slut. More and more my type.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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