the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
do herpes really smell.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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