i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
