sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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