i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
ttyl tear gas
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
