I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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