you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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