last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
