im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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