big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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