I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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