i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
