I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
