Welp...herpes.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
