Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
