My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
