once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
