quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
