MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The power of my boobs compel you
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
